So after our difficult Christmas Eve, New Years Eve proved to be just as difficult. After having her finger slammed in a door, Joss and I spent over four hours in the ER while they sewed her finger essentially back on. It was painful and hard and all I could do was sit and hold her and thank God my mom was there to be the brave one.
As I look back at our experience I wondered if God often feels the same pain we do as parents. When Joss was hurt and crying all I could do was calmly try to comfort her and assure her that the doctors would make it feel better. When they were giving her shots to numb her finger, which was HORRIBLE, especially the second time, all I could do again was hold her and hope the pain went away quickly. As much as she cried and it pained me to see and hear her cries, I know it was what she needed to get better.
It made me think of the times that God sees us in pain and feels the same hurt as our heavenly Father. I couldn't take Joss' pain away, but it certainly hurt me to see her in so much pain. I'm sure that it is infinitely harder for God to see us in pain, whether self inflicted by bad decisions, or by no fault of our own. I'm sure that there are times He wishes He could take all of our pain away and make it all better, but doesn't, knowing that it will be for our benefit or for His glory. I am sure there are times that He is saying to us "this hurts now but it is necessary for your healing in the future." All the while we are crying and sometimes even kicking and screaming against the things that in the long run are best for us.
I have heard others say that after becoming a parent they better understood, even just a small amount, the Fathers love for us. And I think last night was one of those times for me. I suppose what is important at those times is that I remember this when I am going through a painful time that I would rather just run away from.
The good news is that Joss' finger is back in one piece and she is back to her normal perky self. She woke up this morning and said "Let's have some excitement!" to which I promptly replied "no thank you!" I was glad to spend a quiet day at home with no more visits to the ER!
We rang in the new year in the ER this year and I assured Jocelyn this would be a holiday season and New Years Eve we would never forget, and would tell her children about in the future. We are both looking forward to a wonderful 2010. Tony will be coming home in the spring, Joss will graduate to 2nd grade, we are hoping to head to Disney next winter and then of course there will be the many blessings that we cannot even imagine. Of course we are both hoping that we are done with injuries for the year!!
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